98¢ Green Beans

I wore a polka dot shirt today… totally unintentional.  I thought about it just now.  I don’t know, I guess I’m not actually the itchy Bill Cosby sweater, but I’m certainly feeling a bit Cosby like.  I guess I’m just really bad at admitting that I need people’s help.  I mean, exceptionally bad at it.  I always feel like I’m being too needy or like I lean on people too much or that I talk/type too much.  I guess most of that is my inability to be very direct.  I kind of yammer on and beat around the bush a lot and sometimes avoid the actual issue at all costs.  I don’t know.  I’m not going to stop blogging in my time of shying away from human contact.  It’s kind of like the one life line still connected to the other side.  Hell, I even facebooked a little bit and responded to a couple emails today.

I did put down my pride of handling everything on my own last night to ask for some help with something. 

I guess I’m just feeling exceptionally vulnerable right now and so it’s hard for me to have people so closely in my bubble even though I really do need people close at the moment.

does anyone really need to hear from one person?  I think maybe I am entirely to communicative.  Period.  Because really who needs to hear the ramblings of a 21 year old half-wit?  How many people really need to know what’s going on?  How many people need an extremely insecure, needy, emotionally unstable person in their life?  No one.  No one needs that.  Some people might think they want that in their life, but they don’t need it.  That’s where I am right now and that is what people don’t need.  I think maybe I should take a hiatus from communication with other people until I’m not that ugly, three sizes too big, Bill Cosby sweater that people got from their Aunt Mae for Christmas four years ago, but feel to guilty to get rid of. 

Blarg… gotta stop being the the ugly sweater.  Sweaters are itchy, suffocating, and no one enjoys them.

Going back to the factory, perhaps I shall come out as a summery polka dot shirt.  Polka dots make people smile, right?  Well, they’re certainly round…

Wow, I make the worst analogies.